Middle of night

I dont know what i have in my mind now, i felt so tired but i couldn't fall asleep, never take a coffee or tea for today, what's wrong with me, i dont like the feeling like this=(
Recently, i dont really feel happy, yea, u may seen me smiling and act like no worries all day long, but in fact sometimes i just feel depress, wondering so much about everything, do i have some psychology problem? Why am i feel depressing? I wish i have an answer for myself, any of u have been feeling this way too? 
Sometimes, i dont know what i want for my life's goal, but i actually set it like few years ago, am i in the right path? Do i really want like what's other want too? Or am i just wanting it because everyone ask me to？ We cant make decision based on our own will, especially in chinese family, they have so much worries and doubt. 

The night is so quiet, only the sound of the fan and the frog, the whole building is so peaceful, the students here are extremely good to go for bed. 

I wish i have a bowl of tomyum steamboat now, it's warm me from inside out, but i only able to have it in my dream. I dont think i can really have a friend to talk now, even my boyfriend, i would really wan to spill it, but i found no one. 


Loneliness night ever 
Love Ash ♥